A man torn in three.

I had all these plans of what to discuss with you fine readers. But now I'm sitting here. The keys holding up my fingers aren't as forgiving as I remembered. My plans, my thoughts and my wit all seem contrived. I've done it all before.
On one hand, I have the post about something interesting that happened to me today. But, in all honesty, I couldn't force myself to care. So how could I expect anyone else to?

Then, I have the goofy, random, non-sensical post that I could make up as I go. I just don't know... I mean, I could do it. Maybe I'd get a tired smile or two. But, frankly, I'm not in the right mindset. So it would feel forced. And I don't want that.

Finally, there is a sappy, philosophical post. I could pick some staunchly-held opinion of mine and defend it furiously. But that would also melt into the hopeless catergory of "uninspired" art and opinion.

I guess that brings me to a fourth option. The one I decided to go with. Its the honest one.

I actually don't know what to write about. So I'm writing about that. This is what most people don't see that writing entails. You inevitably end up sitting at a computer with some vague idea that you "should" be writing, but no idea what to write. So you write something like this. And hope that no one finds your honesty boring or distasteful.

I'd ask you why you're still reading this. You three. Why? Is it because its me? Because you feel its your duty? Or you want the same from me? Or is it to keep an eye on my emotional state? Or do you actually enjoy these escapades? I hope its the last. If its any of the others, then you should probably rethink your actions. If you're reading this out of a sense of duty to someone you love, please stop. I'll talk to myself day after day if thats what this blog ends up becoming.

Im not really sure I care about a certain number of posts every month anymore. I guess I just love to write. And I'll write anything and everything. Its me. Im this blog. And this blog is me. I'll never be the most interesting. Nor the most cared about. Certainly not the most worthy of attention or love. Im always being reminded of someone whose talent and personality shove mine to the back room wasteland of peoples' brains. Im trying to let it roll off my back. I'm me whether anyone is watching, laughing, loving or not.

And thats all I ever wanted anyway.