I welcome you all here to my humble abode. We're here tonight to celebrate something important. This is my 100th blog post on this blog alone. Thats right. Sidereally Pensive is 100 Blog Posts Old. Im so proud of him.
I know that everyone reading this has a personal obligation to, but thank you regardless. Its been fun writing it all. Im glad someone stayed here to read it all.
Before I get too sappy, let me move on to more important matters...
Freshening rhubarbs takes too long. Am I right? Its just... I want to sing while I wash. Is that SO WRONG?!?
I would ask that you all celebrate with me during this momentous occassion. Refreshments are in the back corner.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Several Posts Later...
It is, without a doubt, best to do some thinking while moving some boxes. After a week of tiring work at VBS, I woke up at 6 AM on my Saturday to go earn some cash by moving some dusty boxes around. Oh yes. I was as eager as I sound. Still, it was fairly enjoyable and flew by. Plus, the whole thing might be working to my advantage for quite some time. (Thats another post I might get to do sometime.)
I was off around a corner and Mr. Jahnke asked me how many boxes were left. I was tired, lazy and not in a mood that lended itself to counting boxes. So I replied with the oh-so-useful, "several." That got me thinking. What does several mean? At what point does several stop being several?
I mean, lets say that a regal frisbee is launched from a specially designed cannon and it takes out 220,389,291,387,641,942 blades of grass. Could you say it cut several pieces of grass? I know its ridiculous, but its true. The definition of several is "less than many." Many is described as "a large but indefinite amount." Soooooo... When does several stop?
Im gonna be cheeky and sarcastic and use it for any number more than one. If some, equally cheeky, person points out that 1,392,904 is a large number, I'll just explain that I'm thinking of numbers in relation to the amount of moleclues per square mile of lead plates with Hello Kitty scratched into them.
I just feel like this needs to be protested. I'm gonna get Gandalf to help me. We need to stop this insanity. Several MUST be accurately defined. It should be any number more than one and less than 38. Or something like that. Acutally, I vote that it stops after seven. Due to the noticable similarities between those two words.
See?
Several.
Seven.
Several.
Seven.
Several.
Seven.
They're practically the goofy cousins of the English language.
I was off around a corner and Mr. Jahnke asked me how many boxes were left. I was tired, lazy and not in a mood that lended itself to counting boxes. So I replied with the oh-so-useful, "several." That got me thinking. What does several mean? At what point does several stop being several?
I mean, lets say that a regal frisbee is launched from a specially designed cannon and it takes out 220,389,291,387,641,942 blades of grass. Could you say it cut several pieces of grass? I know its ridiculous, but its true. The definition of several is "less than many." Many is described as "a large but indefinite amount." Soooooo... When does several stop?
Im gonna be cheeky and sarcastic and use it for any number more than one. If some, equally cheeky, person points out that 1,392,904 is a large number, I'll just explain that I'm thinking of numbers in relation to the amount of moleclues per square mile of lead plates with Hello Kitty scratched into them.
I just feel like this needs to be protested. I'm gonna get Gandalf to help me. We need to stop this insanity. Several MUST be accurately defined. It should be any number more than one and less than 38. Or something like that. Acutally, I vote that it stops after seven. Due to the noticable similarities between those two words.
See?
Several.
Seven.
Several.
Seven.
Several.
Seven.
They're practically the goofy cousins of the English language.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
How To Become a Murderer in 3,883,206,413 Easy Steps!
Sin is a funny thing. Not that its humorous, its just weird and strange. Some people are apathetic towards God and what He deemed to be "sin." They just live their lives. Then there are people who seem to go searching for every sin they can commit. I fall into a third category. I most definitely do not want to sin. Yet I do sin. Again and again.
I know that its wrong and only leaves me dealing with painful consequences, but I continue sinning. I know this seems out of the blue but God keeps reminding me of my knack for stepping outside of His will. I am "prone to wander" as the song puts it.
Earlier this week, someone I know was driving down Route 28 along a section of road that went about 40 mph. I'm unsure of exactly the nature of events since I wasn't there, but the general idea is that a teenager walked across the street without looking and nearly got a tackle-hug from an extremely heavy and speedy vehicle. I've been thinking about that. That's me.
No, not regarding my ability to cross the street, but rather my ability to avoid sin. I know what sin is, just like that kid understood that cars travelled along that road. I know its dangerous, just like he did. Yet I still walk into sin without keeping my eyes open for it. Why? Maybe I overestimate my goodness. Or maybe I underestimate the sneakiness of sin. Either way, sooner or later I become road-kill.
There's a reason Satan is called "the father of lies." He's good at it. Maybe he even invented it. And here I am charging into battle with an opponent who is more than my superior, without a second thought for some protection from the creator of that opponent. I think I can do it myself. I can will myself not to be corrupted. After all, I'm a good christian. And I'm pretty smart. Whats the worst that could happen?
*shakes head at self*
Sin is sneaky. Whether its lies, lust, jealousy, or even murder, it tends to sneak up on people. I think very few sane people set out saying, "I'm gonna lie compulsively" or "I want to murder people until I'm generally considered a despicable human being." I mean, the Bible is clear that we're inherently sinful, but there's still a conscience in all of us. Don't worry though, Satan is pretty good at getting around that. You see, our conscience only sees sudden movements. For whatever reason a gradual decay in our hearts or actions doesn't register.
I've learned that lesson in just about every conceivable way. When I was younger, if I heard the f-word, I'd cringe. Then I started hearing it more and more often. In movies, in public, in music and now at work. I can't escape it! And now I hardly notice it at all. Its just a normal word. I mean, it isn't quite. I certainly don't use it in everyday conversation. But there have been occasions when in the midst of violent convulsions after painfully stubbing my toe I can feel the word on my tongue. Its even come out once or twice. So what happened? How did I go from cringing and blushing at someone merely saying (and I quote) "The f-word" to letting the actual word slip out of my own mouth?
It didn't happen all at once. The first time I heard it I didn't just start saying it in every other sentence. (I still don't.) Its a slow decay in my conscience. I'm numb to it. Now I have to fight the urge to use it when I'm angry.
Or lust. Lust is something I've had more than my fair share of battles with. For a period in my short life, Satan used it to draw me away from God. And it worked. But in the end I stopped fighting it myself and let God take it away from me. Through that process I learned a lot. About me, about sin, and about God.
It always started innocently enough. A genuine (and innocent) curiosity about sex. I'd think about it, wonder about it and try to figure out the whole mysterious thing. There wasn't anything wrong with a 14 year old being inquisitive about that sort of thing. The problem came in when I didn't think about the danger of those thoughts without the right kind of armor against sin. So before long, my thoughts made the all too easy transition from curiosity to lust. And it caused far too many painful consequences for me. I'd like to say I'm immune now that I've learned my lesson. Not exactly. I'm as weak as ever. My heart is as deceptive and easily deceived as it was.
I have to imagine that's roughly how people become murderers. Maybe through an unstable mind, or some circumstances that push them too far. But its a process. One that they don't see coming. Sometimes I wonder what separates me from the sickos of the world. God says that before I was saved, not much separated me and them. I was just as much of a sinner. That's scary.
Here I sit. Once a dirty, rotten sinner. I was disgusting to God. But then He saved me. He made me clean and pure and holy. And I thank Him by continually returning to my sin. Over and over again, Satan deceives me with his slow, patient corruption of my heart. He takes it one step at a time, carefully avoiding setting off my conscience's alarms by moving too quickly.
Maybe I wouldn't see an "R" rated movie right now, but if I saw a few similar PG-13 movies that were nearly "R" I might consider watching the "R" movie. Because its not that much different from the other movies, right? Before I know it, I'm soaking in violence that will fuel my mood swings, watching sex scenes that awaken some lust, and being bombarded with hundreds of swears that will come out sooner or later (and probably both.)
So how is this stopped? Where do I put my foot down? There are two answers to that. 1. I don't. 2. Somewhere. Just put it down.
YOU don't have to put your foot down. If you did, it wouldn't stay there. You need to give God the controls and handcuff yourself to a sturdy metal bar somewhere. Whatever you do, don't take control back.
Now regarding where to put your foot down. The Bible doesn't always say EXACTLY where. Its a personal issue. The Bible tells us where sin is and isn't. Its up to us to know our weaknesses and pick a safe distance. Then take several huge steps back. Be uncomfortably Godly. The more squirmy your sinful heart is, the better. You'll be forced to find comfort in God. Which is really the whole point.
I pray that God gives me all that I need to be Godly. I'm going to stumble through it at times. Thats a given. Thankfully, God has already promised forgiveness. We already have it. Thats not an excuse to continue in sin, rather its freedom to run from it with all the speed we can muster. Do you see that line God tells us not to cross? Don't cross it. And, if at all possible, be too far away to even see it.
I know that its wrong and only leaves me dealing with painful consequences, but I continue sinning. I know this seems out of the blue but God keeps reminding me of my knack for stepping outside of His will. I am "prone to wander" as the song puts it.
Earlier this week, someone I know was driving down Route 28 along a section of road that went about 40 mph. I'm unsure of exactly the nature of events since I wasn't there, but the general idea is that a teenager walked across the street without looking and nearly got a tackle-hug from an extremely heavy and speedy vehicle. I've been thinking about that. That's me.
No, not regarding my ability to cross the street, but rather my ability to avoid sin. I know what sin is, just like that kid understood that cars travelled along that road. I know its dangerous, just like he did. Yet I still walk into sin without keeping my eyes open for it. Why? Maybe I overestimate my goodness. Or maybe I underestimate the sneakiness of sin. Either way, sooner or later I become road-kill.
There's a reason Satan is called "the father of lies." He's good at it. Maybe he even invented it. And here I am charging into battle with an opponent who is more than my superior, without a second thought for some protection from the creator of that opponent. I think I can do it myself. I can will myself not to be corrupted. After all, I'm a good christian. And I'm pretty smart. Whats the worst that could happen?
*shakes head at self*
Sin is sneaky. Whether its lies, lust, jealousy, or even murder, it tends to sneak up on people. I think very few sane people set out saying, "I'm gonna lie compulsively" or "I want to murder people until I'm generally considered a despicable human being." I mean, the Bible is clear that we're inherently sinful, but there's still a conscience in all of us. Don't worry though, Satan is pretty good at getting around that. You see, our conscience only sees sudden movements. For whatever reason a gradual decay in our hearts or actions doesn't register.
I've learned that lesson in just about every conceivable way. When I was younger, if I heard the f-word, I'd cringe. Then I started hearing it more and more often. In movies, in public, in music and now at work. I can't escape it! And now I hardly notice it at all. Its just a normal word. I mean, it isn't quite. I certainly don't use it in everyday conversation. But there have been occasions when in the midst of violent convulsions after painfully stubbing my toe I can feel the word on my tongue. Its even come out once or twice. So what happened? How did I go from cringing and blushing at someone merely saying (and I quote) "The f-word" to letting the actual word slip out of my own mouth?
It didn't happen all at once. The first time I heard it I didn't just start saying it in every other sentence. (I still don't.) Its a slow decay in my conscience. I'm numb to it. Now I have to fight the urge to use it when I'm angry.
Or lust. Lust is something I've had more than my fair share of battles with. For a period in my short life, Satan used it to draw me away from God. And it worked. But in the end I stopped fighting it myself and let God take it away from me. Through that process I learned a lot. About me, about sin, and about God.
It always started innocently enough. A genuine (and innocent) curiosity about sex. I'd think about it, wonder about it and try to figure out the whole mysterious thing. There wasn't anything wrong with a 14 year old being inquisitive about that sort of thing. The problem came in when I didn't think about the danger of those thoughts without the right kind of armor against sin. So before long, my thoughts made the all too easy transition from curiosity to lust. And it caused far too many painful consequences for me. I'd like to say I'm immune now that I've learned my lesson. Not exactly. I'm as weak as ever. My heart is as deceptive and easily deceived as it was.
I have to imagine that's roughly how people become murderers. Maybe through an unstable mind, or some circumstances that push them too far. But its a process. One that they don't see coming. Sometimes I wonder what separates me from the sickos of the world. God says that before I was saved, not much separated me and them. I was just as much of a sinner. That's scary.
Here I sit. Once a dirty, rotten sinner. I was disgusting to God. But then He saved me. He made me clean and pure and holy. And I thank Him by continually returning to my sin. Over and over again, Satan deceives me with his slow, patient corruption of my heart. He takes it one step at a time, carefully avoiding setting off my conscience's alarms by moving too quickly.
Maybe I wouldn't see an "R" rated movie right now, but if I saw a few similar PG-13 movies that were nearly "R" I might consider watching the "R" movie. Because its not that much different from the other movies, right? Before I know it, I'm soaking in violence that will fuel my mood swings, watching sex scenes that awaken some lust, and being bombarded with hundreds of swears that will come out sooner or later (and probably both.)
So how is this stopped? Where do I put my foot down? There are two answers to that. 1. I don't. 2. Somewhere. Just put it down.
YOU don't have to put your foot down. If you did, it wouldn't stay there. You need to give God the controls and handcuff yourself to a sturdy metal bar somewhere. Whatever you do, don't take control back.
Now regarding where to put your foot down. The Bible doesn't always say EXACTLY where. Its a personal issue. The Bible tells us where sin is and isn't. Its up to us to know our weaknesses and pick a safe distance. Then take several huge steps back. Be uncomfortably Godly. The more squirmy your sinful heart is, the better. You'll be forced to find comfort in God. Which is really the whole point.
I pray that God gives me all that I need to be Godly. I'm going to stumble through it at times. Thats a given. Thankfully, God has already promised forgiveness. We already have it. Thats not an excuse to continue in sin, rather its freedom to run from it with all the speed we can muster. Do you see that line God tells us not to cross? Don't cross it. And, if at all possible, be too far away to even see it.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
100 things about me. None of which will be meaningful to you.
This girl named Meg did this quiz on her blog, so I'm replying with my answers. I hope to all goodness that they evoke a smile or two. Enjoy with the furvor of a thousand candles on a hilltop.
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
It was this time at VBS as a child. I was on the playground. Somewhere between steps my footing got lost. I fell on my knee with every one of my 82 lbs right on the head of a nail. It hurt. I sat around for the rest of the week because of course it had to happen on Day 1 of VBS.
2. WHAT'S ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Various posters, skateboards, and pictures of my Meg. I should get into Interior Decorating. I really should.
3. DO YOU SNORE, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Both, I've been told. I also sleepwalk. Scary things happen when I do. Don't ask.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Its sort of an eclectic mix. But mostly stuff in the electronic, alternative and rock genres. Also, anything that has the word "Indie" before those. I listen to way too much Indie music. If that doesn't give you a good idea, I listen to everything from Owl City to Micheal Buble to The Shins to Louis Armstrong.
5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
9:10 PM
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
In all honesty? I suppose lying is pointless. If I'm gonna lie I might as well not do this quiz. Anyway. What I want more than anything is to be able to set my diabolical plan into motion. Which one you ask? The one that ends with me on one knee.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
One word. It starts with "M" ends with "G" and has an "E" somewhere in the middle.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION (S)?
Detroit, my box, and my copy of Lord of The Rings
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
6'2"ish
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
A little bit
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
I used to. Something about an overactive imagination...
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
*pleads the fifth* What?! I didn't "lie."
13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Either Moths or abandonment. Probably being abandoned in a room full of moths thats made solely of pipes.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
It doesn't matter overly much. Though I find myself leaning heavily towards brown for both. :)
15. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED AT?
...I don't see myself being proposed at... If you're asking where I plan on proposing, then thats a secret. Even to me at the moment. Im so indecisive.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Sobe
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
MUSHROOMS!
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A Five Guys burger
19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Orange. Its the best.'
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Cracker? Why yes, I have.
21. WHAT IS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED?
My great aunt Trish gave me an antique underwater dining set which she had scrubbed with her own tongue for three straight years. In related news, my great aunt Trish is looking for a tongue donor and I'm looking for a new antique underwater dining set.
22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Yeah. And irony of all ironies, Its on the girl who wrote the sentence "No! Boys are stupid" which I had to delete to write this...
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No, but my pinky is pretty flexible.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
If I had to choose, I'd say Structure. I love their t-shirts.
25. WHO IS YOUR FAV MALE/FEMALE CELEBRITY?
Russell Brand, Bob Barker, Dmitri Martin, Zachary Levi, or James Roday. Choose one, because I can't.
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Shiloh. He's cute.
27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Either a dog or a cross between a moody teenager and an amoeba. With lots and lots of hair. A hairy amoeba. Are there hairy amoebas? I need to find out...
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Only with Meg. And it would kill me.
29. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ATTACKED BY A WILD ANIMAL?
hmm... I almost let a wild alligator eat a marshmallow off my knee. Does that count?
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM 1 TO 100.
18
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
I am partial to a specific brunette. But not to either one of the colors themselves. I actually like both equally.
32. FAVORITE QUOTE.
"I love you, Nate," -Megan Mejia
33. FAVORITE PLACE.
A green carpet on the floor of a kitchen in a house in Salem, NH. Also, a mystery place I can't give away.
34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Nope.
35. YOUR WEAKNESS?
Insecurity
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
uh...several bands, and a certain news reporter.
37. FIRST JOB?
Derry Five Star Cinemas
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Nah. I laugh too much. They are fun to listen to though.
39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
Not really, no.
40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Reading as much as my poor weary brain could handle.
41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Mmhmm. They took my teeth and gave me drugs. I call it a unfair trade. They got ripped off.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
In my head? Or in reality? Either my stunning good looks or my writing skills or my "niceness" or my odd clothing of the day.
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
...Thanks for reminding me...
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Freedom.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
As many little Nates as Meg could possibly survive.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEBODY?
My Dad. Ish.
47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Lack of clothing.
48. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
...Learning that I have a talent and a passion and they happen to be the same thing.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Axe. I get told I smell great. Apparently, it works.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
When I'm writing it? Yes. When Im reading it? Not. At. All.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham and Roast Beef.
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
I have habits. They annoy people. But I wouldn't call them "bad."
53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Regarding a girl, yes. Other things? Not so much.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Would I have the same personality? Are you asking me if my personality meshes with itself? I think so...
55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
I think its gonna be a crappy movie.
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not specifics. Not what other people think. Just if I find that certain someone attractive. (Which I do.) So Im content.
57. HOW DO YOU REALIZE ANGER?
I steam for a while and then forget about it.
58. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD DIE WITHOUT YOUR CELL PHONE?
Yup
59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
To live out God's will for my life
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My Buzz action figure
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
17. Im thinking of just adding one number every year. Maybe I'll even make it into an obnoxious game show. "Who Wants To Be On Some Shmuck's Phone Even Though He'll Never Acknowledge Your Existence?" I think we all know that we're witnessing the invention of the biggest hit in the game show world since, "Shop 'til You Drop."
62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
*hangs head in shame* He said he loved me... It wasn't very creepy then.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Yes, but not on quizzes that expect me to. Im a rebel.
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MAC AND CHEESE?
Mac and Cheese
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I'll give you three answers. You choose your favorite. 1. Meg. 2. A real love for God thats more important than everything else. 3. Someone who doesn't hate me. (That narrows things down more than you would expect.)
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
King Nate
N8 da Gr8
Clark Kent
67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
In theory or what I would choose? In theory, being psychic would be the most useful. But I've always had a soft spot for super speed. And flight. And super strength....
I want to be Superman, OK?!
68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Smallville. ( see above )
69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
There are two, I suppose. Either I ignore them to death. (believe me, it kills them.) Or I hum a ballad in their ear while they sleep. That doesn't kill them, but it does annoy them. Which is just as good.
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Grasshopper Pie
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
*checks* So far...
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
Sometimes. Not at this point in time though.
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Besides taking a silly quiz merely because its not productive and I feel like I've been doing way too much producing lately? Not much.
74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Portsmouth NH.
75. DO YOU WANT GWENYTH PALTROW TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
The original question was "Do you want everyone to answer these questions?" I found that to be a dumb question, plus Im not doing this on Facebook so it would have been awkward. As a result I decided to pick a random celebrity and ask if they would answer. Im not going to actually answer this question. Just explain it.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
The delighted sounds I'm making as I devour some mint ice cream.
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Dr.Pepper
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
uh...My Mom, I believe.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Smiles. ALWAYS smiles.
80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
IF I had spare time, every second of it would be spent next to my Meg in her arms. As that is not actually possible, I settle for writing most often.
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like work.
82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
Summer, with Winter in a close second.
83.WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
SKITTLES!
84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Just one. I'm still surprised about the whole thing.
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brown
86. EYE COLOR?
My birth records say "brown." I say "hazel." I've been told its an awesome color. *Shrugs*
87. SHOE SIZE?
13
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
... I strongly dislike fast food...If I had to choose, itd be either Five Guys or Subway.
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
I don't really have one...
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Never tried it...
91. WATCH TV TODAY?
Nope.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
June 11th
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
I play guitar. At different points I have tried my hand at piano, violin, and the kazoo.
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Regarding politicians, I have no trust nor love for any of them regardless of their political persuasion. As far as theoretically speaking, Im somewhere between conservative and libertarian. Personally though, I find it all to be a pointless distraction.
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
hmm...Depends on my mood. If Im super sad, a hug from Meg or Madre is all I want. If Im happy, I've been known to enjoy kissing a certain girl.
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Shouldn't it be One Nightstand? And what does furniture have to do with relationships? Why just ONE nightstand? What if I have an extensive alarm clock collection?
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A meal from Burger King. (See #88)
98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
ITS MY LIFELONG DREAM!
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Several. The Bible, The Greatness of The Kindom, Half Brother, and The Secret Hour.
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
Lovely.
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
It was this time at VBS as a child. I was on the playground. Somewhere between steps my footing got lost. I fell on my knee with every one of my 82 lbs right on the head of a nail. It hurt. I sat around for the rest of the week because of course it had to happen on Day 1 of VBS.
2. WHAT'S ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Various posters, skateboards, and pictures of my Meg. I should get into Interior Decorating. I really should.
3. DO YOU SNORE, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Both, I've been told. I also sleepwalk. Scary things happen when I do. Don't ask.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Its sort of an eclectic mix. But mostly stuff in the electronic, alternative and rock genres. Also, anything that has the word "Indie" before those. I listen to way too much Indie music. If that doesn't give you a good idea, I listen to everything from Owl City to Micheal Buble to The Shins to Louis Armstrong.
5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
9:10 PM
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
In all honesty? I suppose lying is pointless. If I'm gonna lie I might as well not do this quiz. Anyway. What I want more than anything is to be able to set my diabolical plan into motion. Which one you ask? The one that ends with me on one knee.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
One word. It starts with "M" ends with "G" and has an "E" somewhere in the middle.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION (S)?
Detroit, my box, and my copy of Lord of The Rings
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
6'2"ish
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
A little bit
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
I used to. Something about an overactive imagination...
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
*pleads the fifth* What?! I didn't "lie."
13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Either Moths or abandonment. Probably being abandoned in a room full of moths thats made solely of pipes.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
It doesn't matter overly much. Though I find myself leaning heavily towards brown for both. :)
15. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED AT?
...I don't see myself being proposed at... If you're asking where I plan on proposing, then thats a secret. Even to me at the moment. Im so indecisive.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Sobe
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
MUSHROOMS!
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A Five Guys burger
19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Orange. Its the best.'
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Cracker? Why yes, I have.
21. WHAT IS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED?
My great aunt Trish gave me an antique underwater dining set which she had scrubbed with her own tongue for three straight years. In related news, my great aunt Trish is looking for a tongue donor and I'm looking for a new antique underwater dining set.
22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Yeah. And irony of all ironies, Its on the girl who wrote the sentence "No! Boys are stupid" which I had to delete to write this...
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No, but my pinky is pretty flexible.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
If I had to choose, I'd say Structure. I love their t-shirts.
25. WHO IS YOUR FAV MALE/FEMALE CELEBRITY?
Russell Brand, Bob Barker, Dmitri Martin, Zachary Levi, or James Roday. Choose one, because I can't.
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Shiloh. He's cute.
27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Either a dog or a cross between a moody teenager and an amoeba. With lots and lots of hair. A hairy amoeba. Are there hairy amoebas? I need to find out...
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Only with Meg. And it would kill me.
29. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ATTACKED BY A WILD ANIMAL?
hmm... I almost let a wild alligator eat a marshmallow off my knee. Does that count?
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM 1 TO 100.
18
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
I am partial to a specific brunette. But not to either one of the colors themselves. I actually like both equally.
32. FAVORITE QUOTE.
"I love you, Nate," -Megan Mejia
33. FAVORITE PLACE.
A green carpet on the floor of a kitchen in a house in Salem, NH. Also, a mystery place I can't give away.
34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Nope.
35. YOUR WEAKNESS?
Insecurity
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
uh...several bands, and a certain news reporter.
37. FIRST JOB?
Derry Five Star Cinemas
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Nah. I laugh too much. They are fun to listen to though.
39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
Not really, no.
40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Reading as much as my poor weary brain could handle.
41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Mmhmm. They took my teeth and gave me drugs. I call it a unfair trade. They got ripped off.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
In my head? Or in reality? Either my stunning good looks or my writing skills or my "niceness" or my odd clothing of the day.
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
...Thanks for reminding me...
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Freedom.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
As many little Nates as Meg could possibly survive.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEBODY?
My Dad. Ish.
47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Lack of clothing.
48. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
...Learning that I have a talent and a passion and they happen to be the same thing.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Axe. I get told I smell great. Apparently, it works.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
When I'm writing it? Yes. When Im reading it? Not. At. All.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham and Roast Beef.
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
I have habits. They annoy people. But I wouldn't call them "bad."
53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Regarding a girl, yes. Other things? Not so much.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Would I have the same personality? Are you asking me if my personality meshes with itself? I think so...
55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
I think its gonna be a crappy movie.
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not specifics. Not what other people think. Just if I find that certain someone attractive. (Which I do.) So Im content.
57. HOW DO YOU REALIZE ANGER?
I steam for a while and then forget about it.
58. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD DIE WITHOUT YOUR CELL PHONE?
Yup
59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
To live out God's will for my life
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My Buzz action figure
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
17. Im thinking of just adding one number every year. Maybe I'll even make it into an obnoxious game show. "Who Wants To Be On Some Shmuck's Phone Even Though He'll Never Acknowledge Your Existence?" I think we all know that we're witnessing the invention of the biggest hit in the game show world since, "Shop 'til You Drop."
62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
*hangs head in shame* He said he loved me... It wasn't very creepy then.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Yes, but not on quizzes that expect me to. Im a rebel.
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MAC AND CHEESE?
Mac and Cheese
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I'll give you three answers. You choose your favorite. 1. Meg. 2. A real love for God thats more important than everything else. 3. Someone who doesn't hate me. (That narrows things down more than you would expect.)
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
King Nate
N8 da Gr8
Clark Kent
67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
In theory or what I would choose? In theory, being psychic would be the most useful. But I've always had a soft spot for super speed. And flight. And super strength....
I want to be Superman, OK?!
68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Smallville. ( see above )
69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
There are two, I suppose. Either I ignore them to death. (believe me, it kills them.) Or I hum a ballad in their ear while they sleep. That doesn't kill them, but it does annoy them. Which is just as good.
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Grasshopper Pie
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
*checks* So far...
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
Sometimes. Not at this point in time though.
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Besides taking a silly quiz merely because its not productive and I feel like I've been doing way too much producing lately? Not much.
74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Portsmouth NH.
75. DO YOU WANT GWENYTH PALTROW TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
The original question was "Do you want everyone to answer these questions?" I found that to be a dumb question, plus Im not doing this on Facebook so it would have been awkward. As a result I decided to pick a random celebrity and ask if they would answer. Im not going to actually answer this question. Just explain it.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
The delighted sounds I'm making as I devour some mint ice cream.
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Dr.Pepper
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
uh...My Mom, I believe.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Smiles. ALWAYS smiles.
80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
IF I had spare time, every second of it would be spent next to my Meg in her arms. As that is not actually possible, I settle for writing most often.
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like work.
82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
Summer, with Winter in a close second.
83.WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
SKITTLES!
84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Just one. I'm still surprised about the whole thing.
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brown
86. EYE COLOR?
My birth records say "brown." I say "hazel." I've been told its an awesome color. *Shrugs*
87. SHOE SIZE?
13
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
... I strongly dislike fast food...If I had to choose, itd be either Five Guys or Subway.
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
I don't really have one...
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Never tried it...
91. WATCH TV TODAY?
Nope.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
June 11th
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
I play guitar. At different points I have tried my hand at piano, violin, and the kazoo.
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Regarding politicians, I have no trust nor love for any of them regardless of their political persuasion. As far as theoretically speaking, Im somewhere between conservative and libertarian. Personally though, I find it all to be a pointless distraction.
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
hmm...Depends on my mood. If Im super sad, a hug from Meg or Madre is all I want. If Im happy, I've been known to enjoy kissing a certain girl.
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Shouldn't it be One Nightstand? And what does furniture have to do with relationships? Why just ONE nightstand? What if I have an extensive alarm clock collection?
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A meal from Burger King. (See #88)
98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
ITS MY LIFELONG DREAM!
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Several. The Bible, The Greatness of The Kindom, Half Brother, and The Secret Hour.
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
Lovely.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Glowy & Beamy - For The Chorus
This is numero dos in a series of posts about what lights up my life, face, and Christmas tree collection.
I live in a world that feels like it's riding a merry-go-round after having a few thousand beers and eating an egg salad sandwich. I'm nauseous and nervous. Tired and terrified. Frustrated and fearful. "This can't end well!" My Brain screams. My Heart counters with, "This is what you want!" And My Soul clarifies with, "This is what God asks of you."
Every once in a while, those three thoughts fit neatly together. Its only when I'm with my best friend that it does. I was with my best friend tonight. We were in my car zipping down Route 28 and blasting Owl City as we headed to her home. She nestled into her seat and closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her. She only stopped looking so stunningly beautiful and peaceful to mumble an "I love you" or two.
I was "home". Not the place, but rather the heart.
I took in the sight of the streetlights as they leapt past. I could almost see the wafting steam of my melting frustrations in the night sky. The summer from Overscheduledville is far from over. Years of uncertainty and waiting and not getting a chance to wait still stand in front of me. But they seem more friendly now. As if they're reluctantly holding our their hands to welcome me. As if through sheer force of adorableness and unquenchable love, my Meg in the seat next to me had gotten my worst fears to get their act together.
I was/am/will always be content. I was/am/will always be beamy and the world was/is/will always be glowy. If Time had a pause button, I would have hit it then and placed something very heavy and unmovable on the button. I wish I could go back. But the week, month, year, and rest of my life all beckon me. I can only pray that God gives me so many of those peaceful, heavenly, content moments that I take them for granted. My life doesn't look easy, simple or even possible. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.
The tears I hold back are more than worth it when they flow out as joyful droplets. The future's far away. But it feels close enough to hug when I'm with my Meg, and in my Lord's arms.
I'll let them be my chorus. I'll keep going back to them since they're the whole purpose anyway. Excuse me. I have beaminess to be. Feel to join me and the crickets for the chorus.
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus
If I were to pluck on your heartstrings, would you strum on mine?
I live in a world that feels like it's riding a merry-go-round after having a few thousand beers and eating an egg salad sandwich. I'm nauseous and nervous. Tired and terrified. Frustrated and fearful. "This can't end well!" My Brain screams. My Heart counters with, "This is what you want!" And My Soul clarifies with, "This is what God asks of you."
Every once in a while, those three thoughts fit neatly together. Its only when I'm with my best friend that it does. I was with my best friend tonight. We were in my car zipping down Route 28 and blasting Owl City as we headed to her home. She nestled into her seat and closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her. She only stopped looking so stunningly beautiful and peaceful to mumble an "I love you" or two.
I was "home". Not the place, but rather the heart.
I took in the sight of the streetlights as they leapt past. I could almost see the wafting steam of my melting frustrations in the night sky. The summer from Overscheduledville is far from over. Years of uncertainty and waiting and not getting a chance to wait still stand in front of me. But they seem more friendly now. As if they're reluctantly holding our their hands to welcome me. As if through sheer force of adorableness and unquenchable love, my Meg in the seat next to me had gotten my worst fears to get their act together.
I was/am/will always be content. I was/am/will always be beamy and the world was/is/will always be glowy. If Time had a pause button, I would have hit it then and placed something very heavy and unmovable on the button. I wish I could go back. But the week, month, year, and rest of my life all beckon me. I can only pray that God gives me so many of those peaceful, heavenly, content moments that I take them for granted. My life doesn't look easy, simple or even possible. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.
The tears I hold back are more than worth it when they flow out as joyful droplets. The future's far away. But it feels close enough to hug when I'm with my Meg, and in my Lord's arms.
I'll let them be my chorus. I'll keep going back to them since they're the whole purpose anyway. Excuse me. I have beaminess to be. Feel to join me and the crickets for the chorus.
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus
If I were to pluck on your heartstrings, would you strum on mine?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
What is this? Its me, thats what.
Four blog posts is too much in a 24 hour period, you say? I say you need a life if you noticed that. Im just bored, ok?
Here's my question: If a blog post is short enough to be a Facebook status, is it still a blog post? Or a misplaced Facebook status? What if most of the blog post is spent talking about whether or not its a blog post? Do those count towards the blogpostiness? What happens when a question turns into five questions? Or six? Or eight? Confused?
Not anymore.
Here's my question: If a blog post is short enough to be a Facebook status, is it still a blog post? Or a misplaced Facebook status? What if most of the blog post is spent talking about whether or not its a blog post? Do those count towards the blogpostiness? What happens when a question turns into five questions? Or six? Or eight? Confused?
Not anymore.
Every Once out a while Every Once got sick of being in a while.
The mood strikes me. The mood for silliness, for idiocy disguised as intelligence, and for pure fun wrapped in a bundle of goodness and decorated with post-it notes that declare this incredible package to be mine and mine alone. Sadly, the mood also pats William Trystiam on the back.
I don't like Will very much for that fact. Its just not fair! I wouldn't stand for it, but fate seems to prefer that I sit. So I settled for lying down. Which is a dangerous pasttime. Did you know that? It is.
And here is why. Do you know what you're doing when you're lying down? You're sleeping. Or injured. Both result in terrible consequences. You see, burglars and aliens alike (and Santa) know when you sleep. So they both lie in wait for you to start snoozing and drooling before they attempt to suck your brains out or rob you, irrespectively.
Do aliens suck out brains? Or is that just zombies? I get them confused sometimes. What's up with bulbous loafers? I mean, seriously. I like loafers. I don't know why. They just so...
I don't like Will very much for that fact. Its just not fair! I wouldn't stand for it, but fate seems to prefer that I sit. So I settled for lying down. Which is a dangerous pasttime. Did you know that? It is.
And here is why. Do you know what you're doing when you're lying down? You're sleeping. Or injured. Both result in terrible consequences. You see, burglars and aliens alike (and Santa) know when you sleep. So they both lie in wait for you to start snoozing and drooling before they attempt to suck your brains out or rob you, irrespectively.
Do aliens suck out brains? Or is that just zombies? I get them confused sometimes. What's up with bulbous loafers? I mean, seriously. I like loafers. I don't know why. They just so...
Yeah... So... THAT.
I think there should be a Loafer Day. We all will celebrate by wearing comfy shoes and eating bread. Then when we're busying hiccuping, the brain-sucking creatures (be they aliens, zombies, alien-zombies, or Cassidy Freeman clones) can all take over our useless and then lifeless bodies.
Do you know what's a funny word? Mercenaries. Thats what.
(I think its safe to say that hyperness, Fall Out Boy, and an outlet for insanity is not a great mixture for me.)
((Yeah...))
Hello Detroit
You knew this was coming. Stop pretending to be surprised. As you all know I recently purchased an Ipod Touch. His name is Detroit. The reason his name is Detroit will be saved for another blog post. Suffice it to say that its a good reason. For now, I'd like you all to read my latest parody. Its a parody of Hello Seattle by Owl City. I call it Hello Detroit.
Hello Detroit
Hello Detroit, I am your new owner
Since I purchased your awesomeness
I fall asleep hearing your melodies
Every night when you sing
Hello Detroit, I am so happy
Now that you are with me
I’d crawl for hours across burning pavement
Just to save you from being drowned
Hello Detroit, I am in love with you
And the huge grin on my face
I won’t consider selling you until
Apple releases something new
Hello Detroit, please don’t run out of space
In the near future
I have too many apps I need to fit
Inside your silver shell
Hello Detroit, you made me forget
All that I would put up with
When I plugged your predecessor in
My ears and tried to sing
Hello Detroit, where were you all my life?
Im not sure how I survived
I’d give you my love, if you opened up and shone
With the light of the citrus sun
Hello Detroit, I am your new owner
Since I purchased your awesomeness
I fall asleep hearing your melodies
Don’t let me dim your light
It’s too late to open my eyes
Did I say “Album” right?
Sing me to sleep tonight
Don’t let me dim your light
(Hello Detroit, I am your new owner)
It’s too late to open my eyes
(Since I purchased your awesomeness)
Did I say “album” right?
(I fall asleep hearing your melodies)
Sing me to sleep tonight
The Good Life
Gregory needed light. He couldn't see much of anything. His hands fumbled in the dark across knives, grenades, and mouse traps. Finally, they felt the familiar touch of a matchbox. He picked it up. Not a single match resided inside. He kept feeling around until he found another matchbox. Still no matches. This happened to poor Gregory again and again. It happened 19 straight times. Only when he grabbed the twentieth matchbox did he find a match.
He wondered why his parents had 19 empty matchboxes, but just put it out of his mind. When the realization that he needed a candle hit him, his heart sank. But then a lemon-scented candle dropped from nowhere and whacked him on the head in much the same way that a rock would if it had been thrown at his head for no reason.
But that didn't matter too much. Because as soon as he lit the candle, he had the bright light he had been craving.
Gregory walked into his kitchen. In the light of the abnormally bright candle, he saw something strange. A Turkish Vegetable-Eating Horse was looking through his mail. He let him finish. The horse whinnied while perusing a letter from New York. Then he walked out of Greg's house casually.
He picked up the letter and after brushing a horse hair off of the envelope, began to read. He read about familiar violins, long days in June, and memories of bitterly cold winters. Then he got to the last sentence. It didn't follow the previous train of thought. In fact, it seemed to belong to its own letter. It said, "Gone." That was it. Just "Gone."
The oddness of that word did not have time to properly sink in to poor Gregory's head. A thief named Tom made sure of that. It was a blow to the head that made him forget the past 13ish months. He spent many years trying to remember it. Yet he never could. Just one moment remained burned into memory despite the amnesia. That memory cannot be described. Not because it is indescribable, but because it is known by every single human being who ever drew breath.
And that is the end of my story.
He wondered why his parents had 19 empty matchboxes, but just put it out of his mind. When the realization that he needed a candle hit him, his heart sank. But then a lemon-scented candle dropped from nowhere and whacked him on the head in much the same way that a rock would if it had been thrown at his head for no reason.
But that didn't matter too much. Because as soon as he lit the candle, he had the bright light he had been craving.
Gregory walked into his kitchen. In the light of the abnormally bright candle, he saw something strange. A Turkish Vegetable-Eating Horse was looking through his mail. He let him finish. The horse whinnied while perusing a letter from New York. Then he walked out of Greg's house casually.
He picked up the letter and after brushing a horse hair off of the envelope, began to read. He read about familiar violins, long days in June, and memories of bitterly cold winters. Then he got to the last sentence. It didn't follow the previous train of thought. In fact, it seemed to belong to its own letter. It said, "Gone." That was it. Just "Gone."
The oddness of that word did not have time to properly sink in to poor Gregory's head. A thief named Tom made sure of that. It was a blow to the head that made him forget the past 13ish months. He spent many years trying to remember it. Yet he never could. Just one moment remained burned into memory despite the amnesia. That memory cannot be described. Not because it is indescribable, but because it is known by every single human being who ever drew breath.
And that is the end of my story.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
The Only Direction (East)
I've been on a roll lately. I just finished my fourth parody. This one is distinct. You see, its serious. And its written somewhat cryptically. Thats intentional. You see, its one of my worst moments and one of my best rolled into one song. Its about the fact that both the good and the bad times I go through are all pointed in the same direction. East. Towards the sun. Or the Son. If you catch my meaning.
Yeah...Im a complicated fellow. Anyway, enjoy Track 4 on Never Judge a Cover Band By Its Booking Agent. "The Only Direction (East)" a parody of "The Only Exception" by Paramore.
Yeah...Im a complicated fellow. Anyway, enjoy Track 4 on Never Judge a Cover Band By Its Booking Agent. "The Only Direction (East)" a parody of "The Only Exception" by Paramore.
The Only Direction (East)
Early this morning
I saw the yellow sun rise
From the east again
A new day to start
As I watched and grinned directly at it
Its quarter past four
But morning’s too bright to sleep through it
And today is the day that I promised
I’d never fall in love
If it’s not with my Meg
But, Dear East, you are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
Maybe I’ve felt somewhere
An ache in my soul
That I finish last
Sit here all night and wait
Don’t leave me alone
In a purely sad state
And it never seemed like this
When you were a comfortable distance
It was just now, I have chosen myself
That I’ll stand up and embrace this
Because you are more than worth the risk
Well, you are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
I’ve got a close stare that’s facing east
But I can’t forget that behind me is fear
I don’t feel lonely in the morning when I wake up
Left me the heart I knew exactly what you meant by it
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
You are the only direction
And I’m on my way out east
Will you join me out east?
Friday, July 1, 2011
Sequins
In the same way that you can't take your eyes off of a train wreck, you'll probably read this. My first parody song was kinda funny, the second was a little worrisome, the third is a real red flag. This guy really is nuts. I started by turning a song about being ignored by someone out of your league, into a song about getting your girlfriend to give up her pork addiction. Then I turned a song about the magic of fireflies, into a tale of me getting murdered over my horrendous dancing. Now, I've gone too far. Why would I turn a song about viewing the world as a dark place, into one about a down-and-out fashionista? I don't even know.
But someone needs to stop me. Have an intervention or something. This needs to end here and now. But it won't. How do I know? Because I've discovered a Relient K song that is perfect to make into a Portal song. Oh yes. Portal and Relient K. Shiver and scream. Anyway, here is my song. Its a parody of the Onerepublic song "Secrets."
But someone needs to stop me. Have an intervention or something. This needs to end here and now. But it won't. How do I know? Because I've discovered a Relient K song that is perfect to make into a Portal song. Oh yes. Portal and Relient K. Shiver and scream. Anyway, here is my song. Its a parody of the Onerepublic song "Secrets."
Sequins
I need another necktie
Something to put on my chest
My outfit’s kinda boring
I used to be better dressed
Is that T-shirt distressed?
I only have it in gray
Come buy it for me on sale
I’d wear it all week, since it’s all I purchased
In complete honesty
Lately Im entirely
Out of all my currency
So, Im gonna give all my sequins away
I’m fine
Without their fake plastic shine
They’re impossible to combine
Im gonna give all my sequins away
This coat
Is good at keeping out the cold
But then it started looking old
It was begging to be sold
And every day I see you
And the clothing you’ve got a hold of
Ones with many different sizes
You don’t how badly I want
To be you
I don’t really like my clothes
Oh so
In complete honesty
Lately Im entirely
Out of all my currency
So, Im gonna give all my sequins away
I’m fine
Without their fake plastic shine
They’re impossible to combine
Im gonna give all my sequins away
Out of season
Out of place
Way too baggy
For my taste
I know my scarf is so last year
Please stop mocking me
In complete honesty
Lately Im entirely
Out of all my currency
So, Im gonna give all my sequins away
I’m fine
Without their fake plastic shine
They’re impossible to combine
Im gonna give all my sequins away
In complete honesty
Lately Im entirely
Out of all my currency
So, Im gonna give all my sequins away
I’m fine
Without their fake plastic shine
They’re impossible to combine
Im gonna give all my sequins away
All my sequins away
All my sequins away
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