Dear Mom,
Here we are again. A whole entire year has passed. I still love you and you're still my Mom. So that's good. It's not that I didn't expect you to still be my Mom. I'm just commenting on the reality of it, ok? So, stop being so uptight.
Anyway, I still think you're great. So I wrote you this poem. (The picture below.) I hope you know that it came from the very center of my heart. I especially love the food you make me and the things you do for me. For starters, I am a person who enjoys clean clothes. You take care of that for me. There's another reason I am appreciative towards you.
Also, I am fairly fond of life. And you devoted a solid nine months to making that dream come true for me. On top of that, you've spent the last 18 years not reversing that decision. In general, I have a lot to thank you for. So thanks, Mom! I love you.
You're a pretty great person. I'll spread that around. I'll tell random folks on the street. I'll tell some baker named Greg. I may even put in a good word with your boss. You know, I can help you out. I got connectionz. That's right. With a "z." Don't try to understand me. I am just too cool. But I get that from Dad.
Oh. I'm sorry. Did you expect me to say I got it from you because it's Mother's Day? How presumptuous of you. I hope you feel ashamed.
In all seriousness, you're the very best mom in the world. I don't even dislike you!
One last thing. Do you remember all those times you were painstakingly forcing me to go over my mistakes in school and figure out what I did wrong. You said I'd thank you someday in between dodging the angry glares and heavy objects I would toss your way. I said that would never happened. Well, it did. I'm thankful. So get your grins of triumph out. You get a free pass tonight. If you ever mention it again, you'll regret it. I have worse pictures to post on Facebook.
