A Good Enough Me

A Good Enough Me

Leave me defeated by

The knowledge that my only victories

And pride

Were based on a bold-faced lie

On technicalities

A breath taken

From finally knowing

I can only guess

How much less

And how much more mistaken

To understand

Loses its charm

When it causes eternal harm

To the man I could have sworn

I was before the doubt was born

Where were you

When you fell with me?

I didn't see you

Where you said

You would be

Were you hiding behind

Necessity?

Is that what this is?

A chance to grab

What was only ever his?

You have it now

But maybe what you found

Isn't quite good enough

Not that I ever was

I'm oh so sorry for your loss

You're lost in time

Time you can't take back

Time with pity that lacks

Build yourself a time machine

And visit all you meant this to be

With those you wish you could see

In the reflection of your eyes

Your ever-fading eyes

Were a pleasant surprise

Maybe I'm not the best

Maybe the years forgot their place

Maybe I'm more or less

Deserving of your trust

Or I was until I crossed

The forsaken line

Of coming to an understanding

That I can never be

A good enough me

This wretched sickness

In my gut

Reminded me of

Feeling like I'm not

As useless as I thought

But that's where the pain comes from

When its just a lie I tell myself

I'm here because he's not

And no one else

Knows the truth

Maybe I'd be different

In another time

Where time didn't trip up

Or maybe it was always my destiny

To arrive here on the wind

Of a technicality

This song has been begging to get out all day. So when it came out it did so as almost a vomit. I could probably go through super carefully and polish it, but Im not sure I want to. Its raw, but thats why I like it. Its pure, honest thoughts straight from my brain. Sure, they're scary. Aren't all of us hiding the darker parts of ourselves anyway? Well I just un-hid it.

P.S. 41311