Maybe I have such a hard time in life because I don't stay focused. While I should be focusing my attention on getting my labradoodle to sit still long enough to slip a leash over his snout, I'm thinking philosophical thoughts about how I can apply that understanding to my life.
Yesterday morning I said Shiloh's most favorite word in all the world. You see, the dog adores going for walks. You'd think he actually enjoys exercise. Its his favorite thing in the entire world. Im willing to bet if he had to choose between protecting me from any sort of danger and going for a walk, not only would he choose the walk but he'd be wagging his tail the whole time. THATS how much he loves them. I just hope I'll never need his protection after someone has said the "W-A-L-K" word. Its ok though, he'd be useless anyway.
When I was thinking about this I realized that, in a way, its kind of like the attitude I have when I want something. Maybe its something big like adulthood, or something small like a new CD. But I always have that tail-wagging kind of enthusiam. I just can't wait! Its certainly not a bad thing. To want certain things, like growing up or a CD of your favorite band. As long as its all in perspective. The problem I run into is the same one Shiloh does. (Yes, I see the irony that my impatient and energetic dog's name means "peacefulness.")
In my haste and excitement to have what I want, I actually stall its arrival. For example, when I finally get all the things necessary to take Shiloh out on this excursion he knows as a "walk" he's worked himself to such a frenzy that I have to spend a few minutes just getting him to sit still long enough to put the head-restraint on him. He knows I'm trust-worthy and that Im going to eventually get him what he wants: Relative freedom. But he's so impatient that he forgets to let me handle the details. So it takes longer. He still goes on the walk, but instead of spending an extra three minutes outside in the sunshine he's running around inside the house because he's just too darn enthusiastic.
I know that God wants me to be happy, but other things are more important in God's eyes than my happiness. He wants me to be content with whatever He has given me at my specific point in life. And not let my frustration at waiting for what I want so badly, rob me of the joy found in the gifts God has given me already. I have to keep everything in the perspective of eternity. Its hard when Im caught up in myself and what I want, but thats what God is trying to get through my thick skull. That the here and now isn't all I should be living for. He has a plan and it doesn't just revolve around me growing up and getting what I want. The most important thing He's preparing me for isn't my earthly marriage or my earthly responsibilities, its my marriage to Him and responsibilties in Heaven that He's concerned about.
And of course He is! Thats what I was created for in the first place. Its all too easy to forget this, unless Im in prayer and seeking to know God more deeply each and every day. When I sit back and consider the possibility that my waiting period actually has nothing to do with me, I can't help but feel selfish. Maybe God's seemingly slow pace is to teach me patience or faith, or maybe its so that I can be in just the right place when God is going to use me in the future to lead someone to Him. Maybe its both. Maybe its neither. And there's no way to tell. Any guesses I make are useless. I can't know. I won't know until after it all happens. But its not my job to know why, its my job to trust that God knows why. I have to trust that He has a reason for all this, and that its a good one.
I highly doubt I'd be regretful if I got to heaven and found out that someone else got to be in the presence of Almighty God for eternity merely because I was willing to be patient when I wanted something and wait for God's leading. Im not saying that every decision we make has such far-reaching consequences, but what if we lived like they did? Not paralyzed by fear of the unknown, or making a huge mess in our haste to get things done, but trusting in God and waiting for His perfect timing. At the very least, the time spent waiting would fly by. And in the mean time, we'd find the thing we really should have been impatient for all along: Our gradual transformation into Christ's likeness.
II Corinthians 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (NKJV)
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