If you understand me, then please explain me to me.

I just don't get it sometimes. The way my brain works. Its a like a rabid baboon ran over it with a tricycle in its haste to get to the Non-Picturesque Valley Sunrise Picture Festival. (You're probably thinking one of two thoughts. Thought #1: "Who would attend a Non-Picturesque Valley Sunrise Picture Festival? That seems contradictory to all logic." Thought #2: "Where?! I am SO going." Well I have a few things to say to those. Answer to Thought #1: "Baboons, of course. Sadly, they are the pioneers in today's photography trends. Its no small wonder that our art is in such poor shape..." Answer to Thought #2: "...You baboons can type remarkably well...")

I'd see a psychiatrist in the hopes that he could explain my brain to me, but honestly, I'd be worried that my brain would be such a conundrum to the poor guy that he'd stay up all night thinking about it. Which would cause him to sleep during the day. And thus miss his important meetings.

After doing this for several weeks, he would gain a reputation as an unprofessional slacker and would be forced out of his practice. Being poor and pressured from his wife to stop sitting around all day watching Dr. Phil while muttering about the unfairness of the universe, he would be inspired to write a book about me. Which would become an instant hit. So much of a hit, in fact, that he'd be asked to appear on Dr. Phil.

Unfortunately, the poor man would become so overwhelmed with emotion at finally being successful, that he would burst into tears and become a joke on Youtube. (Think Rebecca Black meets the Best Cry Ever guy...) Embarrassed beyond repair, he would change his name to Joel and live in a trailer park.

As you can see, that isn't an option.

So maybe I'll just announce this to the world. I'M CRAZY! Its been happening more and more often that I'll see something or hear something completely different then what it was in reality. I'd rather not get into all the crazy thoughts I've had this week. Most were quite embarrassing and involved me speaking without thinking. (Whatever you do, don't quiz Meg on any of these moments. She's been a witness to far too many of them.)

However, there is one story that isn't too bad to share. Ill explain just to give you an idea.

I was walking up the driveway in the general direction of our mailbox today. My mission was to retrieve the mail. And I was focused on that mission. It was a matter of li... "Hey! Look! A delivery truck!" I thought. All focus dissipated. A bright, yellow sticker on the truck's bumper attracted my attention. It said, "Components of this truck are permanently marked." That is not what I read. I read, "Confidently, this truck is completely naked."

I really have no witty comment to add. I think that paragraph speaks for itself. Im nuts. If you understand my brain, explain it to me. Actually...maybe its best I don't know...