But I don't. I have no clue. This is one of the more irritating things about life. No do-overs. No glimpses into the future. No nothing. I really want some sort of guidance. Some neon sign in the sky to point me on my way.
Sadly, those don't exist either. I'm stuck with my gut feelings and the best logic I can muster. I'm stuck in the present. Isn't that a weird place to be, when you think about it? I can't fall back into the comfortable, knowable past. I can only try to remember it. I can't peer into the future and figure out what adventures await me.
Maybe bothering with those things is just a waste of time.
If I'm stuck with the present, maybe it's useless to pretend it's the past or wish it could be the future. Right now, It's now and I'm me and this is a keyboard and life is OK Not great. Certainly not stellar. But it's OK.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I always end up with a choice. And in trying to choose, I hope and pray that I don't make the wrong choice. But what if there isn't a wrong choice in this instance? What if both directions are perfectly acceptable, and merely different paths? What if I really can just choose what I want and not have to take into account the future? What if that scares me half to death?
I don't know what I want all that often. I don't know what's best. I think life isn't about finding the best possible choice. I think life is about making choices.
My first choice is to love my best friend more than any other thing.
My second choice is post these ramblings to the internet.
My third choice is to go to bed.
And then I choose to let that be all the decision-making for today and be OK with that choice.
The whole wide world isn't going anywhere until tomorrow at least.
They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now
They'll say
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