Into focus

The air is getting cooled down by this point in the year. Day by day, the molecules swirling around me are swirling less and less. Their appetite for my body heat is becoming ravenous. All this is nothing new, except that my toes are cold. For the first time in a few months, socks are not keeping enough warmth in my poor feet.


Its raining. Those brave, little drops that gathered together in their cloudy home took a giant leap toward Earth. Down and down they plummeted until one by one they surrendered themselves to that one specific leaf. The one that's sticking out farther than the rest.The leaf that is still clinging on to its chlorophyll, but a slight hint of yellow has surfaced along its edges.


The drops aren't just landing on the dying leaves. They're also hitting the roof of my house and providing background noise for my fingers that dance along the keyboard, slowly stringing words and sentences and thoughts and images together.


Everything around me is cold, but I barely feel it. I feel like I'm noticing everything else this morning. It all feels...warm.


I notice the fact that the sun is still hanging in the sky, despite the dreary clouds that block it from view. The icy feelings in my feet remind me that they are usually warm. I can feel the blood pulsing through my veins. I really am alive.


Today, I get to live what life is for. I get to relax and enjoy being with my best friend. I get to get caught up on school work. And most importantly, I get another day to breathe. It feels like its been weeks or even months since I've had a chance to just...do nothing. Things that need doing always seem to creep into those days.


All the details and small, usually insignificant, things that I don't notice are all I can think about. All because of one verse. Last night I was stressed out and frantically trying to do everything at once, and now I'm calmly handling one task at a time.


This morning my Bible reading was Romans 8.


This verse just shocked me out of going through life on auto-pilot.


Romans 8:38-39

 ³⁸For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

 ³⁹Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That's more than comforting. "Neither death, nor life" will separate me from God's love for me. All the things that have me worried and frazzled and on edge, don't matter that much. What matters is being close to God.


I forgot what I'm here for. I forgot what's important.


God's still going to love me if I can't keep a job, I get behind in my school work, or if I sleep in late. That doesn't mean I shouldn't try with every fiber of my being to serve God in every area of my life. It's just not the end of the world if I mess it all up. I don't have to accomplish everything on my own. I just have to give myself in the service of God.


Today my service will be breathing more deeply, noticing every detail of God's love, and just enjoying the day God has blessed me with.